Fear

Fear can be one of the greatest motivators.  People can run faster, lift more weight and do other great feats when they are in fear of being hurt or having a loved one hurt.  But fear can also hold people back; the fear of the unknown and the fear of failure are huge obstacles for some people.

As the Javelina Jundred race gets closer I have been dealing with fear....the fear of failure.  I do not like failure and frankly I am not used to failure.  Please don’t take that wrong but most things I do I can do with a certain amount of confidence because I work hard to accomplish goals.  Unfortunately I have to face another reason that I am not used to failure....I do not push myself to do things that I am not sure I can do very often.    This is the conclusion I have come to this week: I am afraid to fail.  That fear is holding me back. 

I have been wishy washy about the Javelina Jundred race since registering.  It is a 100 mile race with a drop down of 100 kilometers.  I bounce back and forth from shooting for 100 miles and from doing the 100 kilometers.  I have confidence that in the 30 hours given I can get in 100 kilometers with time to spare.  It would not be easy but with the hours given it is something (excluding injury or sickness) that would not be beyond what I can do.  I am not confident that I can do 100 miles in 30 hours.  I have never done that distance nor have I ever been on my feet running, fast hiking, crawling (lol) for that many hours.  That distance scares me.  For the last couple of weeks it has been the last thing on my mind as I fall to sleep and the first thought in my head as I wake up. 

I need to face it.  I need to overcome the fear of failing and push to accomplish the 100 miles.  I could fail......but I could succeed.  I am strong and I have trained hard.  I need to trust that training and put it all on the line.  That is what I am going to do.  This year I did my first 50 miler.  It scared me, so much so that 9 miles into the race I got all emotional.  Tears and running equal hyperventilation.  Not a good thing while running.  But with my husband by my side I pushed on and kept going.  Since then I finished 2 other 50 milers and they are not all that scary any more.  Now it is time to dig deeper, push harder and go for the 100 miles.

I have running buddy Carol and my son Zac to pace me late in the race.  Knowing that gives me more confidence.  But please send me prayers, good thoughts and any other motivation!  I can use it all.

If you want to follow my adventure next weekend there should be live feed updates at:
http://www.javelinajundred.com 

24 The Hard Way

Michael and I like to find any excuse we can to do a couple of things.  One of those things is to visit the grand children and the other is to participate in cool races.  When they come together like it did for us last month it makes it even all the more enjoyable.  We participated in this race in Oklahoma  http://24thehardway.com/ 
on our way to see the grand kiddos.  Michael did the 12 hour (Hard Way) and I participated in the 6 hour (Hard Way).

Both of the races were held on a 1 mile paved loop with the aid station at the end/beginning of each loop.  The track was fairly flat and pretty easy to run.  The race itself was well organized and fully staffed with great volunteers.  The temperatures were pretty mild, maybe low 70's for a high.  Great day and conditions for a race in my opinion.  The nice thing about a loop track is that you get to see and talk to so many different people-great social running.  The tough thing is that it is so much easier to be too social and let that hurt the pace.  I tried to focus early on in the run knowing that I do tend to over socialize.  I kept my music on and smiled at fellow runners and cheered a few on but other than that concentrated on getting in the miles. It was great seeing Michael occasionally as well.  He continued a nice solid pace despite having started 6 hours prior to me! And rumor was that he was in first place! My plan worked well for me for about 20 miles then with tired legs and so many people to talk with I did a bit of walking and talking in between running.  Enjoyed talking with some veteran runners who inspire me to continue pushing on even though I am not getting any younger.  About 1/2 hour prior to the end of my 6 hours I got a little burst of energy and picked up the pace ending the race with 29 2/3rds loops.  I felt that with all the running/races I had done recently that it was a good run.  Not spectacular but good.

Both the 6 and the 12 hour races ended at the same time and as they ended the rain started.  I was thankful that we did not have a rainy run but felt for the 24 hour runners who were still mid race and dealing with rain.  The award ceremonies were held under the warmth and dryness of a tent and we had stayed because I was excited to see Michael take 1st place in his race.  Not first place in Masters (over 40) and not just first place in his age group both of which are really great finishes but he took 1st place over all!  They started the awards with the 6 hour winners and as they came to my race and the first female winner over all I was floored to hear my name announced!  I had taken first female!!  I got a nice bag of goodies/gift cards/plaque.... and then they announced Michael and he got his bag of goodies and win as well. 

I run hard, I am committed and push myself to do better but despite that F1 is just not a title that is applied to me often.  It felt really good to have gotten it that day.  It also felt good to have our race behind us but our grand children to look forward to!